But I was doing so well!!!!

Have I told you lately? No?

I HATE MY #@%& BODY!!!!

I really, really, really do.

I was doing so well.....had two nice follicles, got my trigger, everything was going so well....

Until my #@%& body decided to go completely nuts, that is. My uterus has evidently decided it's time for a "mini-period".

Seriously.

I called my nurse to let her know - she said not to worry, that this happens sometimes - often for no reason. Evidently some people have this happen when they ovulate and still go on to get pregnant that cycle, and to continue as Dr. Bates instructed with the prometrium, which would probably stop it.

Why does everything have to be so hard? Why can't I just get pregnant now? It's not like I haven't been patient, or haven't had to work for it, or aren't sure that I want it. I've put in my time....I've had more than my fair share of problems with this process. Why is it so easy for so many, and SOOOOOO hard for some of us? I miss not having to think about this stuff. I miss the days when I wasn't constantly afraid of everything I do and how it might affect my cycle.

I actually got stung THREE times by a hornet this weekend and was afraid to take anything for the pain or even Benadryl to avoid a possible allergic reaction, because I wasn't sure how it might impact ovulation. Seriously. (And no, I don't think I'm being silly - my nurse actually warned me not to take any Advil after my trigger shot if my arm hurt, because there are studies that indicate it may inhibit or delay ovulation, and if Advil will mess it up, something else might too.)

I'm constantly worrying and I'm tired.

* I worry about medications that I should or should not take.
* I worry about what I eat.
* I worry about if I am spotting or not spotting, and what the spotting might mean.
* I worry about my husband and how this all affects him.
* I worry about if we time intercourse correctly or not, or if we missed it again.
* I worry about my drug induced mood swings.
* I worry about who I offend or hurt when I get defensive or moody about all of this.
* I worry about who might announce a pregnancy next and how much it'll hurt if it's not me.
* I worry about how and when to announce my own pregnancy if it ever happens.
* I worry that I'll miscarry after all of this struggle to actually get pregnant.
* I worry that I won't have time to have all the kids Kevin and I wanted to have.
* I worry that I won't even get one.
* I worry that my parents won't be as young and active as they are now to enjoy my kids.
* I worry about my job.
* I worry about how we'll pay for treatment if we have to go too much further down this road.
* I worry about every tiny cramp or twinge, and what it means.


Worry is exhausting. If someone would like to take over for a day or two so I could get a break, that would be great. :-)