Another good one.....
What do I think God meant when he gave me infertility?
Couples experiencing infertility often receive well-meaning but extremely insensitive "advice." We can all list the most popular ones: "Just relax and you'll get pregnant," or "adopt and you'll get pregnant," of the most painful from those who think they've got the goods on God's plan, "Maybe God never meant for you to have children." The sheer audacity of making a statement like that never fails to amaze me.
These same people would never walk up to someone seeking treatment for cancer and say, "Maybe God never meant for you to live." However, because I am infertile, I'm supposed to get on with my life. It's hard to understand that people can not see infertility for what it is, a disease for which I have to seek treatment. What if Jonas Salk had said to the parents of polio victims, "Maybe God meant for thousands of our children to be cripples, live in an iron lung or die." What if he'd never tried to find a cure? Who could think for one minute that that was God's plan?
What do I think God meant when he gave me infertility?
I think he meant for my husband and I to grow closer, become stronger, love deeper. I think God meant for us to find the fortitude within ourselves to get up every time infertility knocks us down. I think God meant for our medical community to discover medicines, invent medical equipment, create procedures and protocols. I think God meant for us to find a cure for infertility.
No, God never meant for me not to have children. That's not my destiny; that's just a fork in the road I'm on. I've been placed on the road less traveled, and, like it or not, I'm a better person for it. Clearly, God meant for me to develop more compassion, deeper courage, and greater inner strength on this journey to resolution, and I haven't let him down.
Frankly, if the truth be known, I think God has singled me out for a special treatment. I think God meant for me to build a thirst for a child so strong and so deep that when that baby is finally placed in my arms, it will be the longest, coolest, most refreshing drink I've ever known.
While I would never choose infertility, I can not deny that a fertile woman could never know the joy that awaits me. Yes, one way or another, I will have a baby of my own. And the next time someone wants to offer me unsolicited advice I'll say, "Don't tell me what God meant when he handed me infertility. I already know."
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Oh, how I could use a nice, long, cool drink right now.....
But, I realize God knows what he's doing. I haven't been forsaken or forgotten. I'm still learning through this process. I just pray that I'm on the downhill side of this lesson.....I'm tired, but I know that God won't give me more than I can handle, and that we'll get through this and come out better for it in the end.
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13 comments:
Wow girl! You have such a wonderful view on IF and why you were delt the cards you were delt. If only we could all see the silver lining and find peace and comfort like you have.
I agree that people who've not walked in our shoes have no idea how much they hurt us when they say things like that.
May your road less traveled come to a close soon and may you be posting your BFP!!
Good luck sweetie.
Tarah~
Simply beautiful.
Hi Leesa I too have infertility and have felt exactly the same way as you do. I think god did give you a purpose and one of these purposes was to come on this site and give other women hope and strength. I believe that god will provide us with children and that we just have to take each day as it comes and believe in the lord. He has a different plan for each of us and some of us just take a wee bit longer to get there. God bless you and thank you.
I am also tired and weary and loosing faith. Thank you for posting your experience. It feels like a rest place along the journey. A place where other weary people can come and encourage. More please!
Hi I'm going through a similar issue. My husband & I have been trying for a kid for 6 years. I've tried 1 round of IUI & 2 rounds of Ivf but failed. We are seeing a Chinese physician for medication that will boost our general health first, hopefully, we can have better bodies to prepare for a kid. Every month, I would despair when my menstrual cycle hits again. Seeing others hold their babies in their arms make us feel envious & overcome with a longing that hurts. It is worse when my mother-in-law calls every now & then to ask if we are even trying & make comparisons to my Sis-in-law who has already got a healthy baby girl & is 4 years older than I am.
I'm going crazy thinking I'm infertile & have thought often if God has forgotten about us. Thank you for reminding me that God is kind & loves us. Now, I believe that he might have his own plans for me. When I hold my little one some years down the road in my arms, I'm sure I'll feel very special & truly happy. Thank you, my sister.
Wow Leesa I think I really needed to visit your blog tonight. I can barely see the keyboard through my tears. Infertility is the most horrible path I have ever had to walk and there is no end in sight. People are so insensitive and cruel, especially those that mean well. Thank you for your perspective - I am holding on to God through all of this but sometimes I struggle to see His plan.
Hi Leesa I am glad that you posted this blog. I believe that women who are experiencing infertility feel that they are alone in their experience especially when we see so many women walking around with their buddles of joy. I am 44 and have wanted to have babies so badly but it has not happened. I love the Lord with all my heart and I believe and know that he loves me dearly but today I was asking him why He did not allow me to have babies. I explained to him that I do not understand, but that I am choosing to trust him anyway. The bible says that when we don't understand that we are to trust that God knows what he is doing. So I will day by day continue to trust Him.
Thanks for sharing your story with us. It is good to know that there are people who can relate to an experience such as infertility.
beautiful i can relate so much and just to read those words was amazing to me.. thank you for sharing your point of view .
thank u so much for sharing that, i can relate and it was like a breath of fresh air me reading that .. thank u
Thank you. You put it prefectly and for that I am grateful!
Thank you. You put it prefectly and for that I am grateful!
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Nothing is impossible..... try me maybe i can give you a baby..... googlydoo2001 at y a h o o dot com
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