I know what you're thinking....my birthday IS coming up....and it IS a big one. I always thought I'd dread turning 30. I don't feel 30....it seems like 21 was just last year. However, I don't dread it as much as I thought I would. You see, there is an even bigger anniversary coming....
30 cycles. T-H-I-R-T-Y. Three - zero. Had our first cycle worked (like we so naively thought it would) our first child would be almost two. We'd be working on our second by now. Hitting 30 cycles is bad enough, but it's scheduled to begin, you guessed it.....right around my thirtieth birthday. I always thought I'd be done having kids by the time I reached this milestone. Instead, we're still waiting to begin. By the time we get around to number two, I'll qualify as being of "advanced maternal age". How's that for depressing?
Hopefully, I'll never hit that big 3-0. I will gladly turn 30 years old with dignity if I can just skip the other 30. We started our first medicated cycle this month. We tried Femara (letrozole), which is actually a breast cancer drug, but has been shown to be beneficial for those who do not ovulate well. I'm a little concerned because I ovulated several days later than normal, but maybe that means it's working. My doctor doesn't seem concerned about that. They want me to come in at the end of next week for a hormone check and mentioned doing a pregnancy test the following week. (Can't believe I am writing that - after 29 cycles I've NEVER had a doctor want to do a pregnancy test.)
But still, I am hopeful. It's scary to get my hopes up, but I can't help it. I've really been struggling with this lately, but this week, I've really prayed a lot about it and it's really out of my hands. All I can do at this point is follow my doctor's orders and do my part and leave the rest in God's hands. I know deep down that He only wants the best for me and that Kevin and I are on this journey for a reason.
So....pass the cake with all the flaming candles on it and let's try not to set off the smoke detectors!
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You know. I always thought 30 was old, even a few years ago, but now my husband's 30, and I don't think he's particularly old. And I'm not old (and don't plan on getting old between now and October).
I'm glad you have a doctor with a better outlook, I mean if you're gonna pray for rain then bringing an umbrella is a good sign.
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